How to Help Your Children Communicate Better

The Importance of Effective Communication

Knowing how to communicate effectively is an important skill, and can help someone have a more successful, easier life. For young children, though, communication may not come naturally. Learning communication skills early in life gives kids an advantage, and as parents, we can help them develop these vital skills.

Helping Your Children Communicate Better

The first step in helping a child learn to communicate well is to make sure there are no barriers standing in the way. If you notice that your child is struggling, discuss it with your pediatrician to rule out any difficulties with speech or hearing, or issues like autism spectrum conditions or language barriers. Once any barriers to communication have been resolved, there are some simple steps you can take to boost your child’s communication skills.

• Talk to the child. This is one of the easiest ways to encourage communication, and you can start before the child is verbal. As you and your little one navigate the world, narrate what is happening, describing the scenery and whatever you are doing. Later, keep the conversation going, being careful to create an atmosphere of open conversation, where the children can say whatever they want to say.
• Encourage listening. Listening is just as important as talking, and perhaps more important, so this is something you will want to impress upon your child. The best way to do this is to be a good listener yourself.
• Encourage literacy skills. Developing strong reading and writing skills can vastly improve your child’s ability to communicate. This is another easy thing to work on with your children, by reading and writing with them from an early age.

Effectively Communicating with Your Children

To teach your children how to effectively communicate, you need to model effective communication skills. Communication can be verbal, and this is not just the words we say but also the way we say them. It can also be nonverbal, and this includes things like facial expressions, eye contact, hand gestures, physical touch, and personal space. You can sharpen these skills and better communicate with your children with some practice.

• Practice active listening to help your children feel heard. To show you are listening, use encouraging and affirming gestures, nodding and smiling. Get on the same eye level as your children and ask questions to encourage them to give more details and improve their own communication skills.
• Reflective listening shows children you care about what they are saying. Mirror what the child is saying, repeating the child’s statement with different words, giving your child space to express emotions in a judgement-free zone.
• Use clear and specific language. Be kind, to set a positive example, and do not use derogatory words. The conversations you have with your children should make them feel safe, loved, and respected.
• Avoid bribing your children with rewards. Instead, set clear and realistic expectation, praise good behavior, and calmly use consequences to encourage better behavior.
• Talk about feelings to help develop emotional intelligence. Listen to your children when they express their feelings verbally, considering their point of view and responding with empathy rather than judgement. When a child is expressing feelings in a nonverbal way, help put those feelings into words, to improve communication.
• Catch your children doing the right thing. Notice specific actions and give praise, to help build a child’s confidence and helps them identify the behaviors you want.
• Connect in light-hearted ways. Parenting is serious, but having fun with your children is important. Have light-hearted conversations, and find ways to relate to your children, paying attention to their interests and sharing jokes. Be careful to laugh with your child, but never at your child.
• Focus on behavior when you need to correct your child. When you are upset, avoid criticizing your child as a person, instead directing your comments at the behavior. Instead of saying “You are messy” say “I don’t like it when you leave your things on the floor of your room.”
• Set a good example. You are your children’s first teacher, and your actions are at least as important as your instruction.

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