How to Help When Your Partner is Having a Hard Time Breastfeeding

Father supporting mother who is about to breastfeed

The Gift of Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is a wonderful gift to give a baby. By providing your baby with nutritious, natural breastmilk, your partner is protecting not only the baby’s health, but also her own. Breastfeeding helps keep the baby healthy, boosting immunity to help prevent infection and disease, and it reduces the mom’s risk of diseases like osteoporosis and certain cancers. By breastfeeding your baby, your partner is saving your family money, bonding with your little one, and boosting your child’s brain development. All of that is truly amazing, but it should be noted that breastfeeding is not always easy. In fact, for some women, it is not possible. What can you do to support your partner through this process and help her to reach her breastfeeding goals. We have a few suggestions.

Have the Right Attitude

Learn as much as you can about breastfeeding and take the stance that you and your partner are in this together. Sometimes, dads get jealous of the closeness of the mother and baby during this special time, or feel left out. Don’t fall into this line of thinking; there are plenty of things you can do with your baby! Avoid hovering, but communicate with your partner and let her know that you are there for her if she needs anything.

Understand the Issues

Breastfeeding is not for the faint of heart. It does not always come naturally, and sometimes there are real challenges, even when the mom has learned as much as she can and is eager to breastfeed. Sometimes the baby refuses the breast or bites, and other times there’s not enough supply to keep the baby well-fed and healthy. When there is too much milk, the breasts become engorged and sore. It can get very uncomfortable, in many different ways. Nipples can get sore and infected, milk ducts can become blocked, and mastitis or even breast abscesses can occur. Your partner can get support from a lactation consultant, her doctor, a nurse, or a midwife, but it’s also important for you to provide support as well.

Being There for Your Partner

Supporting your partner with breastfeeding starts in the hospital. Often, hospitals will push formula, and you may need to be your wife’s advocate and help her make her breastfeeding intentions clear.  If your partner needs your assistance enlisting the help of a nurse or lactation consultant, be prepared to seek out the right person for her. At home, she’ll need you to step up your game around the house, taking on some extra chores so that she can have the time and space for breastfeeding. Offer to bring her a snack or some water, or an extra pillow, and help minimize distractions by removing pets and older kids from the room and limiting visitors. Understand that breastfeeding is physically demanding and help your partner to get some rest. Be aware that she may not want to be touched after a long day of caring for a newborn, and don’t be hurt if she is a bit distance. This is a short time in the grand scheme of things, and your lives will reach a new normal soon.

Bond with Your Baby

Just because the baby is breastfeeding, this doesn’t mean the daddy won’t have the opportunity to bond with this new little person. Cuddle your baby skin to skin or carry him or her in a sling or baby carrier. Offer to do bath time because this can be a wonderful way to bond. Settle your baby during fussy moments, which might be easier for you than your partner because you won’t have the smell of milk on your body to distract your baby. Offer to burp the baby or change the diaper after a breastfeeding session. Make the most of the times your baby is awake and alert, and spend time playing or walking with your child.

Be Supportive, No Matter What

For some families, breastfeeding goes smoothly and is a very rewarding experience. For others, though, it does not work out as well. Encourage your partner every step of the way, defending her choices to any naysayers and being there for her when she needs you. If breastfeeding does not turn out to be an option, be sensitive. Let her know that you don’t see this as a failure and you support her choices, no matter what.

Supporting Families and Helping Men

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