How to Teach your Children about Respect

From the moment our children are born, we begin teaching them necessary life skills. We teach them to eat, train them to sleep, and teach them to walk, but sometimes we forget that we must also teach them how to be people of character. Children are not born respecting others, so how can you teach your children about respect?

• Give your kids the right tools. When babies cry, they’re not being disrespectful, but as children grow older, they must be taught that crying and tantrums are not the right methods for getting what they need. Establish clear limits and consequences for breaking rules, and teach kids how to politely ask you for what they need. When you set boundaries, you teach kids that the world doesn’t revolve around them, and when you teach manners, you’re causing them to think about how they speak to other people.
• Make sure your expectations are appropriate. Set your child up to succeed, by making sure his or her needs are met. A child who is hungry, tired, or stressed may react in a way that seems disrespectful without even realizing that’s what’s happening. Make sure kids have a clear understanding of what’s expected, and if they behave inappropriately, follow through on consequences but then discuss things later to clarify the limits. Talk to your child about what happened and why it happened, and listen to the child’s point of view.
• Recognize that compliance and respect are two different things. Some children are compliant without ever respecting their parents, just because they fear consequences. Discipline in a way that’s not demeaning or harsh, to foster an atmosphere of cooperation and respect.
• Monitor what’s going into their minds. Turn on sitcoms, movies, or YouTube, and you’ll immediately see that much of the programming directed at kids contains blatant examples of disrespect. Set limits on what your children see and hear, and talk to them about messages they’re getting from the world around them. Take the time to discuss the right and wrong ways to treat other people, so that your child understands the behavior you expect.
• Create a culture of respect in your home. Don’t lose your temper or allow inappropriate behavior to cause you to behave badly. Instead, model what you want to see reflected, holding yourself accountable for your mistakes as well as correcting your child in a respectful manner. Make sure your co-parent is on the same page, and that you treat each other with respect. When the rules of the house include treating other people respectfully, children will carry that behavior with them.

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